My Toothbrush in My Place?
Here is a story about a toothbrush in my own apartment. My roommate David had invited me over for breakfast and when we got there I asked him if he could bring his toothbrush. His answer was no, he said he usually brings his own toothbrush to work. So I went to find another place to put it when he did come back from work.
About an hour later David called me and told me his story. David said that the other day when he went to the dentist he was upset that his toothbrush was missing. He said that he had been texting someone all day and that the other guy had seen him the entire time and that night he went to this awesome little BBQ place on my favorite Concrete Island road. David said he had been texting this guy all day and that the next morning he had gone to this BBQ place and that the guy had given him his toothbrush for the day. David said that the guy was nice and gave him his card but that the toothbrush was lost.
Well a few hours later David and I are sitting on the couch and he says “I guess my toothbrush isn’t really supposed to be missing since he gave me his.” I told him no that was a pretty lame excuse but then I remembered that David hadn’t given his toothbrush to anyone for a month and that must have been the guy’s big secret. So then I said to him “So how did you end up with a huge bruise on your chin and a mouthful of weird stains all over your hands?” His response to that last statement was, “Oh well I guess I have a date coming up.”
David and I have been dating for about six months now and after I gave him his toothbrush a little dusting I asked him what his next steps are. He told me that he goes on the dating app thing every morning and that he plans on flirting with girls on the dating app until he gets a job and settles down. Then he said that he is planning on going to my place on the next morning with his new girlfriend. I thought to myself wow that is so awesome of him because he doesn’t normally take the steps needed to meet someone for a date.
We got to talking and I told him that it wasn’t weird for a guy to go on a dating app and plan on flirting with someone on it and that I could totally understand him. But then I noticed something and I told him that it sure sounded like you were playing some sort of game or using psychological tactics on me. He told me that it wasn’t and that he just wanted to get into my place and see if I was real. Well, I didn’t take it too kindly and accused him of playing some sort of game on me, which made him really uncomfortable and then I told him that if he didn’t learn to deal with it in my place then he would continue to play the dating app game on until he got his real job. I asked him why he wouldn’t take this step sooner. His answer was that he had heard of someone who ended a relationship over dating app and that person talked about how mean and manipulative she was.
So then I explained to him that it’s a matter of perspective and that my actions don’t make me a mean and manipulative woman and that it was actually my reaction to the way he treated her that ended the relationship. I asked him why he doesn’t realize that it’s a matter of perspective and that it’s not personal. He told me that he hadn’t dated anyone since then and that he needed to figure out what his definition of “date” was. We talked a lot about that for a while and then I told him that if he was looking for a serious relationship then he needed to do some work.