I have a difficult time with losing perspective…especially when it comes to motherhood. I am ashamed to tell you sometimes the massive responsibility of it all floods my senses, leaving me unable to notice the sweetness of a Nutella smudged face. Instead, I often focus on the mess. Most of us have no clue just how selfless we have to be when we become mothers. At first it is the general helplessness of an infant, then the sentry duties for a toddler ensuring their safety and the safety of our breakables, and now I am trying to mentally survive the never ending question stage of a pre-schooler. Mom, what does JKOPL spell? Nothing. Okay, then what does JAOTPZ spell? Nothing. Is twenty thousand the same as twenty hundred…
I had a
minor major meltdown a couple of months ago while on the phone with my mom, crying and complaining that my children just won’t listen. Why will they never do as I ask? Why is everything always a struggle when Brian and I work so diligently to teach them manners, respect and the fruits of the spirit. I have reminded James of Ephesians 6, paraphrasing into four year-old words, James, the Bible tells us God wants you to be a good James and he wants me to be a good Mommy. Maybe in the back of my mind I’m thinking, well if he won’t behave for me, maybe he will for the Lord.
Someone shared a post on Facebook the other day from a blog called Scissortail Silk entitled To the Momma at Chick-Fil-A. The article chronicled the multi-tasking mania that IS every mother’s experience when taking the minions to play and have lunch. I laughed out loud several times while reading the piece, and kept thinking, I love this writer. I love how observant she is with our stage in life. I love the title suggests she was writing to one, specific Momma at Chick-Fil-A, but we all know she is writing to every one of us.
I loved all of the chaotic details of baby on hip, balancing a tray of food without spilling any of the three drinks while kids are clinging to her legs… until I got to a point when the author lovingly says to the Momma at Chick-Fil-A, “It’s worth it, you know.” I stopped reading and out loud asked WHEN? When is it worth it? When will I see all my teaching and parenting and reminding and coaching and praying was worth it? When do they just behave and act nice and do what I ask of them and play nicely together and don’t leave their Ringpop on the shag rug and ask one billion questions per minute and don’t tattle tell or launch themselves off of furniture or make everything into a gun and try to shoot each other or spit or say
da stupid or spill taco rice on the new white couch? WHEN?
And then I imagined the Lord thinking the same of me. When will Lauren learn? True I don’t eat a Pop-Tart into the shape of a sonic megablaster and then aim it at Brian as he walks by, but do I love the Lord my God with all my heart and all my soul and all my mind? Every day? Do I ignore all the distractions of my blessings and love my neighbor as myself? Do I tithe ten percent of my earnings? Do I follow Ephesians 6 and not provoke my children? Do I always do what the Word instructs me to do? When I change perspectives, I see regardless of our age, we are all imperfect humans living life each day, and attempting to learn and implement the right way and the wrong way. The Lord doesn’t lose it with me, and I’m an adult who should know better. I can’t lose it with my boys. Some things take longer to learn. Some rules are more difficult to put into practice. At thirty two, I still throw my clothes on the floor when I put on pajamas at night. At two and four, the listen and obey lessons may take a few years to kick in.
I often read blogs about families that seem very perfect to me. Pinterest-lunch-making moms, beautiful well-behaved children, handsome dad and a picture perfect life. As beautiful as those families are, it would not be realistic or honest of me to paint that picture of perfection of my family. I am not perfect. Hopefully the good behavior will come with time, but for now how am I going to enjoy where we are at present? I think it takes practice. I think it takes prayer. I think it takes the desire to be better than what we are. And I think it takes a change of perspective.
I know it isn’t easy being a mom. When/if you feel yourself looking at your roll as a mother or even at the kiddos with a little resentment–most of us get there sometimes–try looking at the situation with the Cross as the background. He sacrificed Himself for us out of love. Surely we can acknowledge the blessing of motherhood and joyfully accept ALL parts of the responsibility for Him. They really are too precious to not.